Thursday, October 17, 2013

What a morning

So today was BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) and the morning went well, until the end of BSF.

Let me start from the beginning and give some background information so those who don't get the pleasure of staying home with their children can see how my morning went.

Both kids woke up so peacefully.  In fact, Brooklyn woke up and started playing in her room.  I believe some cars and a motorcycle held her attention until Roman woke up.  Then, something glorious happened: they both began to play together prior to coming to me!

After a healthy breakfast of pumpkin granola bar and fresh veggie smoothie.  I asked them both to get dressed while I got dressed too.  They obeyed.  In fact, from upstairs where I was getting dressed, I heard Roman encourage Brooklyn to hurry and offered to help her.  When I came down, Roman was fully dressed and Brooklyn had her dress on backwards and inside out, but hey...she did it all by herself and in her defense, dresses with buttons can be tricky.  :)

So the children both loaded into the car without an argument, fuss or complaint.  They took their vitamins obediently and were thankful for the little movie I surprised them with in the car for the 15 minute ride to BSF.  After all, the movie in the car is reserved for long car trips, not quick little errands or short drives such as the drive to BSF.

We were on time for BSF!  In fact, Roman was able to get there for the "beginning play" which is designated for the first 10 minutes to accommodate all the different arrival times of the kids.  Yay!  He seemed grateful for this extra playtime.  Brooklyn was a little hesitant to go into her class and a few tears later she went in to play with her friends.

Our lecture let out unusually early, about 10 minutes.  So that meant all the mommies were about 10 minutes early picking up their children.  Roman didn't take it well.  He was sad that just as they took the train out to play for the last 10 minutes, his mama showed up to pick him up.  In fact, he was so upset that every attempt to sooth his heart heart was thwarted by the whiney, indecisive, tantrum throwing inner child in Roman.  I loved on him, talked to him, hugged him, reminded him of his extra playtime in the morning, and then gently guided him to move on so we could pick up Brooklyn from her class.  It's tradition for all the mommas to let the kids run around for about 10-15 minutes afterwards to play with other kids and just have fun!  I reminded him of this fun time and encouraged him to play now.  After all, the trains would be there next week. When this didn't help him calm down I then told him he would have 5 minutes to play and he could either choose to spend that 5 minutes crying or he could spend it playing.

Nope.  This. Did. Not. Work.

So, yes, I was the mom of the child who:

  • Cried loudly that he wanted to play
  • Cried loudly that he couldn't calm down
  • Cried loudly that he couldn't choose between calming down or playing
  • Cried loudly asking how much longer he had before we left
  • Cried even louder when I said it was time to go
  • Ran away from crying in an attempt to make me turn around, but I kept walking.
  • Cried hysterically as we walked across the parking lot, saying "I don't want to go, I want to play"
  • Hit his pregnant mama in an attempt to get her attention since she wasn't giving him the time of day...instead praising his Brooklyn for her obedience in coming right away when it was time to go.
  • Ran around the van screaming, "No!" as though I was kidnapping him.
  • After seeing his mama calmly buckle Brooklyn and praise Brooklyn for her amazing behavior then get into the car herself and buckle up,  panicked.  
  • Screamed at the top of his lungs that he didn't want to go, then stomped his way into the carseat.
  • Hit his sister repeatedly from his carseat in yet another fit of rebellion for the early departure.
  • Screamed at the top of his lungs in the car saying, "I want to plaaaaaaaayyyyy!"
  • Apologized, unapologetically, to his sister for hitting her.
  • Continued to scream as another preggo friend and I prayed outside the van for strength, patience, peace and for God's love to be shown in all of this knowing that God has blessed us with another child who will be just as selfish as he was being.  
  • Continued to whine, cry and complain all the way home trying to get my attention.  To which he knew that the only way he could have a conversation with me was when he was calm, ready to apologize, and accept his consequences for his actions.  
So, yes, I was the mom who:
  • stayed calm despite wanting to smack sense into her 4 yr old and lecture him right then and there about being thankful and grateful and not making scenes
  • calmly said, "you're being rude to mama while I'm talking to my friend."
  • calmly said, "remember to play and not waste your time crying instead of playing"
  • calmly said, "two more minutes"
  • calmly said, "it's time to go, let's go."
  • calmly said, "you do not hit. It's not nice"
  • calmly said, "buckle up."
  • calmly said, "I'm sorry, Brooklyn, that he hit you.  Please find it in your heart to forgive him when he eventually says he's sorry."
  • calmly said, "When you are ready to apologize for your actions and accept your consequences then I will have a conversation with you." despite him screaming "mama, why aren't you answering me?  Mama, answer me!  Maaaaammmmaaaaa!"
  • calmly told Brooklyn she could watch the movie on her lap because of her great behavior.  
  • calmly told Roman, when we arrived home, to go inside and wait quietly for me to give him his consequences after he had apologized to both Brooklyn and me.
  • despite staying "calm" when I spoke to him, I cried as I drove the van home.  
Mothering is hard.  Molding children into adults is hard.  Having great friends who understand, relate, and encourage makes it easier.  But most of all, I stayed calm for one reason and one reason only:  GOD.  The peace I had knowing that anger would only invoke more anger from Roman was indescribable.  The encouragement I had knowing my job is not to save myself from embarrassment as my child clearly made a fool of himself, but rather to train a child in the way he should go was indescribable.  I am a mom.  I have a tough job.  God has a tougher job dealing with me sometimes though.  So I am grateful for these moments despite the heartache they cause.  

And now it's quiet time.  Consequences have been handed out.  Life for my 4 year old will forever be changed and mine also.